The Nimnul Catwash 3000!


Throughout history, the task of washing a cat has always been a problem for mankind. If you've ever tried to wash a cat, you know how difficult and dangerous it can be, resulting in numerous bites, scratches and other hassles. That's why such a task should only be left up to certified diabolical geniuses, such as myself, Norton Nimnul, inventor of the Nimnul Cat Wash 3000 cat washing service. We'll take the hassle out of washing your cat!

Simply bring in a picture of your cat so that we can identify it. We'll need a picture, because if you've reached the point where you're considering washing your cat, the mangy fur ball will have already sensed your intentions, and will be nowhere to be found.

"My cat smells like poo."

Our crack team of trackers will quickly locate your cat anywhere in your neighborhood from our cat tracking plane.

Once your cat has been found, our specially designed Cat Acquisition Bot (C.A.B.) will be called in for the capture.

After your cat is safely inside the stainless steel C.A.B., it will then be transported to our fortified cat washing facility, located a safe distance out of town.

Then, certified diabolical geniuses, such as myself, will use the Nimnul Cat Wash 3000 to extract your cat from the C.A.B., and put it into the wash.

Everything is remote controlled for convenience, and we can easily handle large numbers of cats at one time, so there's never a waiting list, and your cat can be processed the same day.

With the Cat Wash 3000, there is never any danger to humans as your cat is thoroughly scrubbed and dried. (Also works with chipmunks and other pets. Inquire for pricing. Not responsible for predatory mishaps.)

Finally, your cat will be gift wrapped, and hand delivered to your door.

Another satisfied customer!


The Nimnul Catwash 3000 has washed cats since 2004-09-05.

This page was last modified on 2005-02-28.

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This page Copyright 2005, by Tom Hunt.